Life, Loss, & Rebirth
My belief continues that the tradition of birthdays should be to celebrate those who birthed us and those who gave us life. My biological mother passed away when she was 38 years old. This year will begin a new journey for me to see past the horizon that I am not my mother’s cancer but that her spirit lives on with me. My stepmom came into my life when I was 15. She brought a lot of awareness in my life. Her family showed me what unconditional love looks like and for those that have experienced it know that life in the greatest sense is unconditional love. Inconceivably, I’ve known her now longer than I knew my mother. Benumbingly, I don’t even remember my mother’s voice. Through the voice of a mother that nurtures us to the yelling that tortures us, we stay connected through the umbilical cord of attachment. 10 years ago I found a new mother, she didn’t give birth to me but she gave me life. She diagnosed me with breast cancer, the same my mother had, the same my stepmom had, the same that her mother died of, and the same that eventually took her from all her 6 children including myself; a loaner. She inspired me to write my first book This Was No Coincidence and through the auspicious forces of the title, it was no coincidence that she passed away this year a few days after Mother’s day. It was like everyone she touched, lost a mother.
photo credit Rae Miller
Virginia Woolf, a 20th-century English writer, lost her mom when she was 13 years old then lost her surrogate mom a few years later. She spent unwavering contemplation trying to bring her mom back to life.
“for we think back through our mothers if we are women” ~ Virginia Woolf
“I’ve often quoted the enigmatic writer Virginia Woolf whenever any of my eight children appear to be questioning what direction to take in their lives: ‘Arrange whatever pieces come your way.’ Such great advice. Take the pieces that show up for you, and arrange them in such a way so that you live fearlessly, and the one universal Divine mind will handle all of the details for you.”
~ Wayne W. Dyer from